Kicks

By Tim Parks

Kicks 

By Tim Parks 

By the time this photo was taken, five people and a one-eyed dog named Andy were dead. Roy Chapel and his fiancé Corrine Svenlodden, AKA The Kicks Killers as they have become known as, are currently on trial at Denver County Court.

A jury of their peers, six men and six women will decide their fate, while the media have descended upon the Rocky Mountain city and the duo have drawn comparisons to spree killers Charles Starkweather and his girlfriend Caril Ann Fugate, who ended up murdering 11 people two years earlier in 1958. Would they get the electric chair as Stark had or do prison time like Fugate? 

Only fate, the jury and the judge could decide that. 

But Chapel and Svenlodden have a rather interesting defense, claiming it was all a series of literal unfortunate accidents, according to testimony from each. 

Defense Attorney Jackson “Jack” Jarlsberg Q: “Miss Svenlodden, take us back to the morning of December 1, 1959. What do you recall about it?”  

Defendant A: “Well, it had snowed the night before. So, it got Roy into the Christmas spirit. However, he had already packed his Christmas lights away for when we would get our first home together. I remembered I saw some at Winston’s Hardware down on Broadway, and they were on sale.” 

Prosecution Attorney Bernard Summers, Esq. A: “Objection! How is this pertinent to the deaths of five people?” 

Defendant A: “And one dog.” 

Prosecution Q: “Your honor...may I approach the bench?” 

Judge Phillip Packer (holding up his hand to Bernard Summers, Esq. overruling his objection): “Miss Svenlodden, please just give us the Reader’s Digest version.” 

Defendant A: “Yes, your honor, sorry. I offered to run the errand, which was the biggest mistake of my life (sobbing and then collects herself). Like I said, it had snowed the previous night. I hadn’t been driving for very long, and never in the snow before. The roads were icy and before I knew it, the car was going off the road into Ray’s neighbor, Mr. James Bentley, Jim to his friends. I couldn’t stop the car from plowing into James as he was taking out his garbage.” 

Defense Q: “So, what your describing is vastly different from the accounts in the press, that you actually enjoyed running him down?” 

Defendant A: “That is correct. He was a very nice man, maybe he drank too much - but can you blame him? His wife had just left him for the garbage man. I think that’s referred to as irony. Such an unfortunate thing that still gives me nightmares. I did not mean to do it, honest I didn’t (uncontrollable sobbing).” 

Defense Q: “Please Miss Svenlodden, try to control yourself. I know it's difficult to recount. (Waits for her to finish). Rather than drudge up the painful memory of each and every one of the alleged victims' deaths, let me ask you one thing...did you do it on purpose? For kicks, as it were...” 

Defendant A: “No. If I could take any of this back, I would in a second. I swear!” 

Defense A: “No further questions, your honor.”

Prosecution Q: "Mr. Chapel, both you and your fiancé have sworn on The Bible. Are either of you what folks would refer to as God-fearing people?”

Defendant A: “I pray every day for this nightmare to be over. I know Corrine does the same. Did we go to church? Not every Sunday. We did our best. Which is all the Lord asks of any of us.” 

Prosecution Q: “And would you say you also followed the commandment of ‘love thy neighbor?’” 

Defendant A: “Yes. Yes, I would.” 

Prosecution Q: “Yet because of the recklessness of you and Miss Svenlodden, five people on your street met with their untimely demise - true or false?” 

Defendant A: “And one dog.”  

Prosecution Q: “Yes, and one dog. Would you say that Molly Timer being cut in half while getting the mail, or 17-year-old Teresa May Walcott walking home from school, or little Alistair Crocket riding his bike, or June Wydell backing out of her driveway all deserved to die?” 

Defendant A: “No, and neither did James.” 

Prosecution Q: “James. Now there’s a very interesting name. Miss Svenlodden previously stated that he was Jim to his friends – why wasn’t he Jim to you?” 

A look came over Chapel, a fugue state that caused the judge to call for a recess.  

If anyone had been privy to his mental state, they would have learned why James wasn’t Jim to him. His overflowing trash often blew into his yard, a constant irritant that he’d spoken to him about ad infinitum. He eventually got the point, Corrine saw to that. 

His neighbor, Molly Timer was fond of bragging to the women in the neighborhood about the love letters she sent to her husband in the Army who was stationed abroad. Too bad the postman was delivering special packages to her every afternoon. Her hypocrisy irked him to no end; plus, her husband Jake was a good chum.  So he had sent her COD to her death, one less cheater in the world.

And he regretted ever telling Corrine that Teresa had been flirting with him. The Crocket kid was just annoying as hell, yelling up one side of the street and back on his bike. And who the hell names their kid Alastair, anyways? I did him a service and saved him a lifetime of teasing. 

Poor June was the only true accident in the string of events, and was now, and would forever be, the poster girl for looking both ways.  

We’ll just say that if Andy hadn't bitten him, he’d still be alive and have both of his eyes intact, absent would be the grape popping sound of Roy's only defense the first time around. Andy was all bite and no bark twice with him, and that was two times too many. 

When the recess had convened, Chapel looked like his normal self, both attorneys gave their closing arguments, each imploring for two sides of the same coin; that justice be served, and most importantly, insuring a win for themselves. Heads or tails. Now or never.

Judge Q: “You may be seated. Has the jury reached its verdict in the case of Roy Chapel and Corrine Svenlodden?”  

Foreperson A: "We the jury find the defendants not guilty." 

For the first time following their arrest four months prior, Roy Chapel and Corrine Svenlodden shared a kiss and saw their way into the bright sunlight of freedom upon their immediate release and headed for their returned car, previously impounded as evidence, after answering the press' endless questions.  

“I can’t believe they bought it!” Roy exclaimed, once they were out of eye and ear shot of the press. 

“Wanna go for a ride?” She coyly asked and then beamed the biggest smile possible. 

“Now, what do you think?” He replied with a cocked eyebrow and the excitement of a teenager going from learner’s permit to licensed driver. 

“I call shotgun!” She shouted with a laugh, not caring who heard. 

As they drove off into the fading sunlight, both recalled fondly on their just for kicks spree that they had gotten away with.

It was still hard for them to wrap it around their heads that they ‘d gotten away with the murder of five people.

And one dog.